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| Okay, so, I moved to Virginia. Huzzah. And today, my dad and I went on a walk and we talked about, get this, my future. Creepy. But only because it involves growing up, something I am nowhere near achieving. Anyway, that's pretty much it for now. Here are some icons, that's all I do anymore. Didn't make any of these, got most of them from LiveJournal. Some slight Deathly Hallows spoilers, if you haven't read it yet....just a warning, friends. :)   
  
okay, that's all for now, but I'll edit later and add more. I gotta share the computer. :P | | |
| Holy cow! Best Friday ever! Rachel called me this afternoon while she was at work and randomly asked me what I was doing tonight. She just said she wanted to hang out, and I figured she didn't have any definite plans yet. So we left around five, and I asked where we were going, but she wouldn't tell me. We stopped to get a bunch of candy and drinks, put them in the cooler in the back of our van (which we borrowed from the parents instead of taking Rachel's truck) and headed out. She told me that we were picking up our cousin Anna, and then I guessed that we were going to Lawrence. We met Magen for dinner, which would have been fun enough for one evening, but we still had those snacks in the back of the van, and Rachel and Anna both knew what we were doing, and I didn't, which was driving me crazy. We then proceeded to Kansas City, where we pull into a Drive In Theater! It was amazing! And praise God, the rain held off! :) We watched POTC 3, which I wouldn't recommend, but still...the experience was amazing. She just did it for fun, and it totally made my day. What an awesome sister I have, don't ya think? :D Anyway, if you have never watched a movie at a drive in, I would definitely go for it. But avoid the snack bar and the bathrooms. Practically a war zone in there. Thanks, Rachel! | | |
| I don't really trust a sane person.
Lyle Alzado We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.
Walter Anderson Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time.
Arthur Ashe
Trust is a question of how much of yourself you are willing to give someone. You can tell them your secrets, your feelings, your questions, your thoughts...but closing off that flow of information and heart at the same time is a difficult thing. Once you've given your trust, there is no getting it back except in pieces. Choose carefully the people who deserve this treatment. Even then, they will let you down. It hurts, when trust is lost and you must continue, but God is so faithful. He will never betray your trust. He will always forgive you when you betray His. He is a loving Father who wants to have you for His very own. Though being hurt my someone you trust is a hard thing, forgiveness is key. Amazingly enough, forgiving was not the hard part for me. The hard thing is letting someone back in. It takes time. It is something entirely separate from feeling, something so different that it cannot be compared. It is fact. When trust is betrayed, time is necessary for healing. There is no "quick fix" no way to right the wrong except a daily reminder that you intend to do the best you can. When you betray someone's trust, you cannot expect to be let back in very easily. It's always a matter of time. I thank my God that He is constant. How lovely it is to have a friend to hide in when all else fails. Human love at it's best seems pale and sick in the shining light of His love. He's Always Been Faithful--Sara Groves Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me
Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.
I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.
This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me This is not meant as a condemnation. It is simply the culmination of my thoughts today. I am not really looking for any comments, I just need a place where I can put things down in writing. I do appreciate you, friends, and I love you all dearly. | | |
| So, life has definitely been more fun than it is right now. I know I never use xanga...who am I kidding, NOBODY uses xanga. But I don't know, something about that appealed to me today. For one, not every one and their mothers will see this, unlike writing anything on facebook. For another, simply writing things down makes them a little bit clearer for me. So please, if you don't want to hear me whine and complain and plobly throw a temper tantrum, don't continue. If those things are amusing to you, then by all means, read on.
I have come to realize that life is not what I thought it was. It's not fun. I'm only sixteen, things are supposed to be fairly easy. And yet...here I am, whining to the empty void of cyberspace.
I am moving in three and a half months. My room is packed up, save the things needed for summertime and the remainder of the school year. It's empty. A constant reminder of the fact that I really am going. I know God is faithful. But it has to be more than a knowledge. Maybe that is why I am going at all. To learn that He is not just something that can be thought about now and then. He is real, alive, active in my life every day, waiting for me to trust Him completely. And I don't always recognize that in the safe little bubble I call my life. Well, friends, it's not always gonna be safe.
I had to give something up to my Father tonight that I've been holding on to for about as long as I can remember. I asked Him. He answered. It was not the answer that I wanted, but it was still final. In all honesty, this is the hardest thing I've had to give up to be obedient to my Savior. But He is so much more important. Pleasing Him has to be all that matters, in this and every other decision of my life. Dear Friends, if any of you are still reading this, there is NOTHING more important than living only to please Him. I wish I could say this was true of me, but it's something to work on for the rest of my life. Loving him isn't enough. Human love, in its imperfection, fails sometimes. It has to be a decision, a daily asking of Him for His grace in our lives. Asking Him to provide the longing to do what is right in His eyes. Not the warped, generic "do what is right" ideas that are fed to us by our friends, both saved and unsaved. "Doing what is right" to them may simply mean choosing not to do the terrible things the people around us are doing. Isn't there something more? I believe in a deep, growing desire to do nothing in our lives but serve the One who made us, loved us, died for us and cherished us, and that desire can only be given to us when we ask for it from it's very Creator. Would not that be the most fulfilling of existences? Oh, may it someday be true of me. How precious would a life be that was only lived for my Prince.
And yet, life still goes on. A constant battle between the flesh and the spirit.
A question for you.
Is there something in your life that, if asked by your Savior, you would find nearly impossible to give up? A Warning...if the answer is yes, He will probably ask you for it.
There is nothing better to offer Him than the things we don't want to give up. There is nothing worth having that would sacrifice a relationship with Him.
When I open my mouth, everything spills out. Thanks for hanging in there.
I'm learning, my friends. Learning isn't always fun...but I do think it can be beautiful. | | |
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